Feedback and revision: Genre integrity as a collaboration between thesis panelists and undergraduate computer studies thesis writers

Date of Publication


Document Type


Degree Name

Doctor of Arts in Language and Literature Major in English


College of Liberal Arts


Literature, Department of

Thesis Adviser

Ma. Lourdes S. Bautista

Defense Panel Chair

Andrea Penaflorida

Defense Panel Member

Jose Lloyd Espiritu
Rosemarie L. Montanano
Paz Canilao
Glenda Fortez


This thesis investigates the role of thesis panelists' oral and written feedback in the revision of undergraduate Computer Studies theses.Nine undergraduate theses submitted for thesis defense during term I of school year 1997-98 (3 from Information Technology, 3 from Software Technology, and 3 from Computer Technology majors) in the College of Computer Studies at DLSU were selected as corpus. The researcher chose the theses that were written by above average, average and below average ability groups for balance and representability. The revised drafts were also analyzed, making 18 theses the total corpus. The pre-defense and post-defense drafts were analyzed using genre analysis. The corpus included videotaped thesis defense of the groups who wrote the theses. The fourth and sixth stages were transcribed because these were the stages when the panelists gave their feedback to the thesis proponents. Transcription was divided into topical episodes. Each episode was categorized and labeled, and the results tabulated. The results of the analysis of oral feedback given to one CT, one IT, and one ST thesis were shown to another to ensure reliability. Written feedback on the theses was analyzed, categorized, and labeled. Revisions in the post-defense drafts were observed, categorized, and labeled. Finally, the moves in the post-defense drafts were compared to the moves in the pre-defense theses to find out changes in structure.

The analysis of the pre-defense theses showed that although some chapters of the CCS theses were also found in theses in other disciplines, there are chapters found only in CCS theses as The Proposed System, Internal/External Design and Performance Analysis. In addition, although theses share common features, theses from each Department have unique features.With regard to the types of oral feedback, the researcher found seven. However, it appears that panelists preferred two types of oral feedback: asking for clarification and giving instructions regarding the document.The researcher found four types of written feedback. It was observed that panelists would rather indicate mistakes than explicitly correct them or give advice or instructions. There are also some who posed questions to make proponents clarify some information. In addition, most of the oral and written feedback dealt with content rather than grammar, word choice, and mechanics.With regard to revision, the researcher observed that proponents made three types of changes: changes based on oral feedback, written feedback and ones not attributed to panelists' comments. In general, theses proponents made substantive changes in response to two types of oral feedback: giving instructions regarding the document and pointing out problems in the system. With regard to changes in moves in post-defense drafts, 54 percent were substitutions while 46 percent were additional moves.Feedback from panelists influences revision of theses. The number of changes attributed to panelists' comments prove that panelists play a big role in the revision process. It appears that the whole thesis defense is a way to ensure that all theses accepted by the College of Computer Studies have genre integrity, meaning they meet the standards of the College.

Abstract Format






Accession Number


Shelf Location

Archives, The Learning Commons, 12F Henry Sy Sr. Hall

Physical Description

257 leaves


Literary form; Research; Dissertations, Academic; Discourse analysis; Writing; Language and languages -- Style; Thesis writing

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